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Aazari Cantharess

[ website | The Art of Jolie E. Bonnette ]
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Writer's Block: Thumbs down! [Jan. 10th, 2010|05:04 pm]
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What are your least favorite book and movie genres? Are you willing to make exceptions? Do you ever feel left out of social events/discussions owing to atypical taste in movies/books?


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Romance and the ever-horrid "chick flick". I've yet to run in to any exceptions. I'm usually hanging out with geeky friends who have roughly the same love of sci-fi, fantasy and horror that I do, so it's usually not an issue socially. At work, when people are gushing about whatever girly glop of romantic chick flick garbage has them gabbing, I just pop in my headphones and crank up my music or leave the room. *shrug*
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Writer's Block: If you're not part of the solution ... [Jan. 9th, 2010|06:38 pm]
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Are there any political issues or civil liberties you actively promote or defend (through volunteer/grassroots efforts)? What are they? Do most of your friends feel similarly?


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I definitely support efforts for equal rights for gays, lesbians and transgenders. I have too many of them among my circle of friends to not support that. Friends' opinions vary depending on what slice of life they come from. Work friends would definitely mostly disagree as would most friends I know through my blood relations. My chosen family and friends would mostly agree.

I'm all for the "green" movement to help preserve what little natural resources we have left and reduce the atrocious amount of pollution we spill out into the world. I also support animal cruelty prevention through a number of avenues. Since they can't speak for themselves, I lend support to those who give them a voice.
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Not a good start.... [Jan. 9th, 2010|03:35 pm]
[Current Mood | aggravated]

So far the year is getting off to a crappy start. First, right before the new year, I get a message from Geico saying they are canceling my insurance due to non-payment. Do what??!! Supposed to be on auto pay. WTF?? Somehow that apparently got shut off. SO I had to go reset that. Two weeks after I get that, I get a letter saying I've been unenrolled from autopayment?? HUH?? So now I have to go jack with it AGAIN to make sure it's all set right. >_<

Second, I get a notice from the DPS saying they're going to suspend my driver's license. The reason? A speeding ticket from 1995. That's right, FIFTEEN YEARS ago! When I'd gotten the ticket, I had given my live-in boyfriend the envelope with the check in it ready to go to Montgomery County because I was going out of town again. I thought it was done with. YEARS later (about two years ago), I get a letter saying the thing is still open. I was stunned and also pissed off. Why the hell didn't they IMMEDIATELY send a letter when I didn't show up to court for the unpaid ticker?? The letter FINALLY came at a time when money was tight and I wasn't able to take care of it right away. By the time I could afford it, the papers had vanished and I forgot about it. That happens when you have brain damage and are trying to run a home business as well as taking care of personal business. Now, anyone else has a limit on how long they can go to try and collect a debt. Most debts are wiped in seven years. So why the hell can Montgomery County still come after me for a fifteen year old traffic ticket, especially when my driving history is relatively clear since I started driving at age 19?? It's not like I'm some rampaging drunk driver endangering people's lives or anything. Give me a damned break! So now I have to scrape up $105, go get a money order (apparently they equate traffic violation to hot check writer since they won't take a personal check *smirk*) and get it in the mail before my license needs renewal in February. I'm tightly budgeted, so this is going to be a total PITA.

Couple of days ago, I go to check balances to figure out budgeting and payments for the month. I find one of my accounts at negative when there should be $13 in it. WTF? I look and find a game subscription I had CANCELED well before it was due to run out debited my account for $56. GRRRRR! So, I have to hassle with going and letting them know they were not supposed to debit and that it had put my account in the negs. At least they fixed it within a few days, but now I have to get the bank to put back their $30 overdraft fee since the debit wasn't authorized and has been refunded. I'm still waiting on that.

When I came out of work Thursday, I discovered a flat tire. It was the same rear tire that picked up a screw about a month ago. Due to being in the middle of nowhere and late evening, I had to take it to a local tire shop (luckily open late) and they just plugged the hole. It held and I thought it was good enough. That's what I get for thinking. The tire wasn't totally flat and I managed to limp it down to Discount Tire on 1960. They said that the tire had been damaged from being driven on low pressure and that they wouldn't repair it because of the previous plug anyway. They also recommended that the other rear tire be replaced because it was also down to 1/4 tread. Driving a new tire with a 3/4 worn tire makes the new one not last as long or, at the very least, wear unevenly. So I ended up having to drop just under $150 for 2 new tires on the rear. Yay! Yet another expense I can't afford.

I ended up having to pay a late fee on my sales tax filing because the server apparently spat out my return without alerting me. $60 on less than $10 of tax. *smirk* I've got that switched over to annual filing now since I barely make enough taxable sales to make it worth filing quarterly. Most quarters my sales tax is zero because most of my sales are handled through Zazzle and Cafe Press, not me. I only keep the stupid thing because some festivals and events require the tax license to participate. I may consider just dropping it altogether this year since my ability to do festivals has dropped to about zero due to my back and not having reliable and physically capable back-up for such events.Not to mention finances being too damned tight for me to be able to afford the sign-up fees these days anyway.

SO finances right now are very shitty. There is NO extra money coming in right now and I'll be doing good to be able to eat for the next couple of weeks. Lucky for me none of my required medications are low right now or I'd have to be doing without them. Add to this the fact that the car seems to be chugging and hesitating and I'm totally stressed out. I'm hoping the car is a simple matter of it not getting its usual regular doses of fuel system cleaner. Fuel injectors can get cranky without that. Or it could be a clogged fuel filter. I'm going to dump STP in it when I refill the tank (yet another expense I can't really afford at the moment) and take a peek at the filter when it's not so cold out that my fingers can't get the clamps off it if it needs replacing.

*sigh* Here's hoping the rest of the year isn't this sucktastic!
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Writer's Block: The morning after [Dec. 27th, 2009|03:36 am]
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Do you usually experience a let-down after the holidays or a wave of relief that the social obligations are over?


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Seeing as I generally don't like the insanity that comes with the holidays, I'm generally relieved when they're over. Besides, I have the seasonal blues this time of year, so getting past the holidays means this crap will soon be done for a year or so and I don't have to feel stupid being down for no good reason. :-p
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All Hail Mediocrity [Dec. 10th, 2009|06:34 pm]
[Tags|]
[Current Location |home]
[Current Mood | sickly]

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You know, there are some days I just really shouldn't visit any sort of general public driven site where anything is granted any sort of award for being "best" in any sort of creative field. Primarily I speak of POD sites like Zazzle.

The staff apparently is solely responsible for picking what goes on the front page at Zazzle. All I can say is their staff is either a) entirely too easy to impress, b) has very few shreds of good taste, c)are totally ignorant of modern image creation tools, d) are a bunch of chimpanzees randomly punching buttons or e) all of the above. Why else would we be getting Today's Best Awards on items such as red and green striped ties? Oh yeah, those stripes are so grueling to do with bucket and gradient fills. Ooooo! And they're just SO original and fresh.... *smirk* Something else that makes me grind my teeth over there are the people snagging up public domain art images and clip-art and MAYBE adding some gaudy crap to it with their collection of Photoshop brushes or putting some frame on it(if they're not entirely lazy) and then just slapping them on merchandise. These also often disgrace the Today's Best gallery on Zazzle. So, they are really saying that, with as many actual PROFESSIONAL artists and photographers offering merchandise on that site that this mediocre (at very best) crap is the BEST they can show people on Zazzle?

What are we saying here? Are we saying we'd rather give awards to talentless people who are clogging up the marketplace on the site with mediocre bullshit than give them to people who bust their humps to make their own original content? Sure, those mediocre people can crank out a dozen new designs a day and MAYBE through that volume be able to make the site some change, but let's get real. Just how many mediocre bullshit stripe and fill designs made from standard digital tools, stock and clip-art can the site support before things start repeating and it begins to go stale for the shoppers? At what point does the audience go, "Good gods! This sight is fucking boring! Are there no people making real content here??" How long until they quit coming in because there's no longer anything truly unique there? When that inevitable tipping point comes, the rest of us who have been making original content all along are going to go down along with all the crap-fill spammers who made the site so boring and homogeneous. I'm not saying Zazzle should deny these poor witless souls from creating galleries full of rubbish in attempts to make spare pocket change. I'm saying a fucking red and green striped or simple "comes with the program" fill pattern tie should NOT be getting a Today's Best Award when your average 5 year old can make it using Photoshop and the fill tool. There is nothing special about that garbage. A hundred people could submit the exact same (or close enough to it for jazz) design. The same goes for people using clip-art and stock photos. Unless they make SIGNIFICANT changes to it, that kind of thing should not EVER get a Today's Best Award. Because there is absolutely nothing special about going over someone's royalty free clip-art with a few image brushes or tubes you downloaded from the Internet unless you're doing something incredibly intricate with them.

Why do these items continually clog up the marketplace and Today's Best section of Zazzle. Surely, with as many truly talented artists and designers as I see on this site, the one picking these things could do better than picking a pair of "mock saddle shoes" or a clip-art flat(unshaded) heart symbol with some words next to it? What is the matter with you people that you do your site the disservice of labeling that crap as the "best of the best"?? Are you ignorant? Blind? Lacking in Taste? All three? What the hell kind of image does it give the site in general when you tag such spew as the best you have to offer? I think someone isn't thinking about this in the chain of command.

<>

So, yeah, anyway... still sick as a dog & feeling crappy. Extra irritable on the above issue today. >_< Feel pretty weak even though I've not done much but sit, watch vids and cough my ass off from time to time. I still can't seem to stay hydrated for any length of time no matter how much water I drink. Ugh. But I'ma quit bitching now and find something else to watch. :-p
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Thankful Despite the Weirdness [Nov. 27th, 2009|06:58 am]
[Current Mood | awake]

Warning! It's long! It's rambling! It's somewhat random! LMAO!

Thanksgiving was a good if, at times, weird day. In the morning, I kind of got distracted putting together ads for my online shops and those of the artist I agent for. I figured I'd try and flag some "Black Friday" traffic our way. This put me on the road a bit later than I had intended, but I wasn't really running TOO late. About halfway down to League City I happen to glance at the corner of the windshield on my roomie's car and realize BOTH the stickers are MONTHS out of date. >(o_0)< Damned good thing I have ninja-like stealth when it comes to avoiding police notice in those situations! Made for a rather nerve wracking drive, though. I also noticed his check engine light was on and prayed the whole way there and back that the beastie wouldn't strand me somewhere between here and there. Think I'll just stay IN until my car comes back from the shop. I do NOT want the messy ordeal of being ticketed while driving someone else's car. I have enough crap to deal with, thanks! YIKES! The most irking thing is he KNEW they were out and claimed to have "not had time" to take care of it when I mentioned it upon arriving home. Ummm, you are home ALL day EVERY Friday and you don't have time? Uh-huh... and I'm Trent Reznor, bub. *rolls eyes* I really just don't like it when people don't take care of important business like that. Makes it damned hard for me to take them seriously, honestly. Sorry, NO ONE is that bloody absent minded, not even me with my brain damage. I certainly made SURE I had that registration renewal notice plastered front and center on my desk so I could get it as soon as money posted to my bank for my next check after I got it. *smirk* And inspection was done at the first opportunity after that since they both expired at the end of November. Yeah, no excuse for not taking care of that shit, especially if you tend to let other people drive your car a lot like he does. The other male roomie drives it constantly.

But at least I got to FREDsgiving safely with my nommy pasta salad, laptop and drum in tow. LOL I was grateful to see I was among the first to arrive despite running a little late and there was no sign yet of the ex and his new girlfriend yet. I still wasn't sure how I would actually handle that beyond my stout admonition to myself that I was NOT going to let it spoil my day PERIOD. I'll be damned if I let that kind of bullshit alienate me from my friends. He may be seeing them a lot more than me right now, but then he just seems to have oodles of cash to do things all of a sudden where I can barely afford gas to get to work a lot of the time. When they did arrive, his new girlfriend flinched when she realized I was beside her standing in line for food as they were trying to get into the dining room to put down their food. What the hell was she expecting? Did she think I was going to leap on her in a fit of jealous rage? LMFAO! Yeah, riiiight. For one, I don't do that kind of stupid shit for any man. For two, if I DID do that kind of stupid shit, I would NOT be crass enough to break up the chosen family's gather like that. Eesh! I mean, I know I'm bitchy a lot (pain can make me downright surly sometimes) but I have NEVER caused a row like that at any gather with these people. Makes me wonder what kind of bullshit he's talking about me, really.

I just kind of flicked an eyebrow as if to say "Alrighty then" and focused on the delicious grub awaiting me on the table. Not a word despite my impish desire to go "BOO!" I behaved myself despite those evil little stirrings that less mature side of me often gets. *snicker* I went outside to eat. They were at the other end of the table from me. I kept up a light chit-chat with the folks on my end of the table and ignored the other end of the table for the most part. No biggie. We mostly had our mouths too full to talk anyway. LOL I managed to hang out most of the time without having to interact with them at all. When I did have to, I was calm and civil if not overly inviting. I mean, I think I DO have a wee bit of right to be irked considering he could have had the good grace to date someone who ISN'T a friend after breaking the rules and going off to boff someone I didn't know. Sorry, all the fluff bunny shit in the world doesn't negate the fact I am a human being with emotions that need to be expressed. I just try not to disrupt a celebration with it, that's all. I'm crazy, yes. But I'm far from the psyho hosebeast some people might assume I am. No, I'm much less flashy than that when I'm evil. *chuckle*

After I heard he was already hooked up again Tuesday, I thought. "Four months tops he'll have that girl moved in. Watch." Boy was I wrong. I found out today that he's already planning on doing it. They've been together since CMA Samhain (end of September) and he's moving her in?? Wow. And I finally figured out his quirk, I think. He's got that Galahad shit, kind of. He wants to seem to ride in to the rescue of the damsel in distress. He did the same with me. He was all too willing to move me in when I found myself in a bind because I was injured & on crutches and my best friend had already gone north to New Jersey. My roomies at the time were hardly ever home and I couldn't even carry food or drink for myself. But he soon found I don't play damsel in distress too well. I DESPISE being debilitated and having to rely on other people that much. I was raised to NOT depend on other people that much unless there was no other choice. Gee, so sorry if I like to try and not be co-dependent. *smirk*

I had to laugh when people were like "I'm surprised he's moving her in." My answer was "I'm not, not at all" after hearing the way they got together was that she basically pounced him multiple times on the direction of someone doing a workshop out at the festival to "go do something wild and crazy that you wouldn't normally do". It's sex plain and simple. Big surprise. Of course he wants to move in someone who will get him laid whenever he wants it and make him the shining knight at the center of their wee universe. A couple of more observant and shrewd people expressed concern for the situation. All I could tell them was that, at this point, it's not my problem anymore so long as no one does anything that puts my ferret in danger. Because, well, it's not. His girlfriend is a grown woman and it's her business, not mine. The one thing that irks me a little, though, is that I don't think I'll be able to handle having to go over there with HER there in the way of my playtime with my pookie girl. I wanna play with my fur brat, not have to deal with awkward exes bullshit. *groan* Dunno what I'll do with that. I can only control the temper so far. The extra stress I'm under lately makes that hold slippery. I really don't want to test how far it is before I have a blow-up or, worse, a nervous breakdown. I've had one breakdown after Mom died. It took YEARS to get right again from that. I REALLY can't afford to do that right now. But, at the same time, I would like to at least occasionally get to see my fur baby without interference, awkwardness or weirdness.

After ritual, I snaked some energies from the ritual fire to send to poor Sammie to help her through all the crap she's going through. Strangely, while I was doing that, the fire got really active and showered sparks everywhere. So I hope that means someone was listening to my little thought-chant of "My blade is the fire of my soul, cutting away the darkness and injustice around Sammie". I'm hoping it was a positive sign that those lousy excuses for parents she has will finally get what they so richly deserve and let that young lady deal with her health issues in PEACE. I would like for her to get a chance at maybe feeling what it's REALLY like to be a free young person and not have to live with so much fear every moment.

I kept having to hitch up my britches all day and mentioned as the evening was winding down that most of my clothes are either in the "don't fit so hot anymore" or "getting too ratty to wear in public" pile. Gwen said she probably had some stuff I could wear that she could do without. Turns out she had a huge 40 gallon trash bag worth! Not just any old hand-me-downs either. One of the shirts is SILK. I've been dying to have a silk shirt again. Two of the tops are the Indian style tunic tops which I adore and have been drooling over online for some time. One was a gorgeous deep ruby metallic shirt. It looks nice! And a got a few serviceable (and much better fitting) pairs of jeans, too! There were plenty of pieces I can mix and match around with what she gave me and what's still serviceable in my closet. She even gave me a super thick and fluffy robe so I don't freeze to death when I finally make it to Jersey. I'm thinking this house is bloody cold as a freezer. It can get a bit of use here, too. LOL I was actually surprised at how GOOD some of the stuff looked now that I've got a bit of a waist. It's been at least six years since I had a proper waist and it makes me happy to have one again.

I ended up hanging out chit-chatting until around 1AM. I decided I'd better boogie since it was a long drive. Avoided the cops and several rather tipsy-looking drivers on the way. Then I got home and was too alert to sleep. And here I sit now jabbering on. LOL. Think I'll crash soon, though... maybe. Meh. Not like I'm fool enough to go anywhere today, anyway. :-D
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Wishlist [Nov. 24th, 2009|09:04 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |in hell, apparently]
[Current Mood | distressed]

Stole this from http://sio.livejournal.com/

STEP ONE

Make a post (public, friends-locked, filtered... whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of ten holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV"). The important thing is to make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) can get in touch with you. Your home address is not required!

Make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

STEP TWO

Surf around your friends list (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now, here's the important part...

If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes one person's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use - or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free - do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf - to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not - it's your call. There are no guarantees with this project, and no strings attached. Just... wish, and it might come true. Give and you might receive. You'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

Okay, so here's my wishes. I don't have 10 because they're all hard. And, honestly, I don't expect anything to come of posting them because, frankly, I am never that lucky.

1) For either my car to be fixed back up to reliable OR get a newer one that IS. (Note I don't say it has to be new, just newER and reliable; my car is 14 years old) I have a lot of health issues and live a bit out in the boonies, so being without a vehicle is not going to work for very long. I really don't even make enough to live on and can't afford to buy a car. Plus my credit is shit from medical bills I couldn't afford to pay.

2) A free one way trip for me, my cat, my crap and (my hopefully working by then) car to Brick, New Jersey. I miss my best friend. I want to be closer to more art shows so I can sell both my art and that of a friend in England in more shows. I'm stagnating so much in Texas I feel like I'm suffocating. I WANT OUT!

3) Failing #2 I could pull stakes, get up there and have enough money to float food and meds and things for a while until I get a job for around $5000.

4) A NEW or at least newER desktop computer. This old frankenputer of mine is really the core of my art business. It's so old they don't make compatible parts for it anymore so it's last resurrection from the dead (it's 5th or 6th since I've owned it) will probably be its last. I really, really need a decent desktop with a CRT monitor if possible. If it's flat screen it has to have EXCELLENT color matching capability.A new Wacom Tablet would be nice, too. This one seems to be fritzing a bit.


5) To be able to afford the hydro-therapy the back doc prescribed for me or get it for free. I wouldn't hurt so damned much if I could get it.

6) Dream the impossible dream: A lottery win so my best friend and I can go rescue a young friend of ours from her abusive parents and get her to some of the top cancer docs in the US would be the ultimate blessing.

Like I said, I'm expecting not a thing. *shrug*
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What a craptastic week [Nov. 24th, 2009|08:32 pm]
[Current Location |hell, apparently]
[Current Mood | crushed]

As a general rule I detest the holiday season. I've always had issues with mild seasonal depression-like state. This year it's just starting off in the most whizz-bang awful way possible. Firstly, I've been trying to fight off a respiratory infection for about a week. Right now I feel like the cat gave me a hairball. So I'm taking night time sinus meds and Mucinex to try and break up the crud. I'm not running a fever, but this morning by body temperature was abnormally low, which is about as bad as a fever. I had to go to work like that and sucked down hot Bengal Spice Tea all day in an attempt to quell the cough and warm myself up. I managed to make it through to almost the end of the day. Luckily, I ran out of stuff to do and was allowed to leave an hour early.

So I hit Walmart to go get the stuff to make my pasta salad for FREDsgiving, the annual feastly gathering of my Pagan friends who have basically been my family for a long time. Then I went to go pick up my roomie from the Spring park and ride. On the way back, the transmission of my car decided to start locking up. I went to shift into second and it wouldn't go. I managed to finally get it into first, but when I had to stop it was trying to slip out of gear. I managed to limp her home in first gear, knowing we'd be walking otherwise since the only other person with a car in the house was already gone to teach his evening classes. I had groceries in the car and we were still a long way from home. We made it... barely. This is REALLY bad timing since I'm supposed to go to League City for FREDsgiving Thursday. With it happening so late, I wasn't even able to call my usual mechanic shop to have it towed in to see what it's going to cost to fix. Roomie says she is willing to lend me some money to get it worked on. It's beneficial to her for me to have it so she doesn't have to rely on the other roomies to take her to and from work that way. But, with the holiday, I'll be lucky if I can get it in by Monday. I at least have a ride in to work tomorrow, but getting back might be trickier since my ride has to leave at noon. I may just leave with her since I still won't have a lot to do unless we get a boatload of mail in the morning.

I figured my ex (we've been on decent terms) would also be going to FREDsgiving, so I called to see if he'd be willing to give me a lift to and from. In the process of that, I find out he's been dating a member of the FRED Nest since CMA Samhain. Obviously he wastes no time finding someone else to warm his bed. The LEAST he could do is try and find someone OUTSIDE my circle of friends. *smirk* Now it's going to be really bloody awkward for me when/if I go to gathers and they're both there. Thanks.... like I need that extra drama with all the rest of this shit pile my life is becoming.

I was supposed to be going north to New Jersey in December. It's looking like that's not going to happen as the people who were bringing down the truck aren't returning communications with the friend this was arranged through. So, basically, I'm stuck here indefinitely because the increasing medical costs are eating my budget alive and I've not been able to save a thing. I may not have this place to live for as long as it takes me to get out of here because the female roomie may end up having to take an out of state job. If that happens, the other two will pull up stakes and leave, too, leaving me without a roof over my head. I've pretty much nowhere else to go, especially if the car is a lost cause. As it is, not having a vehicle is going to severely complicate things beyond my ability to manage. I won't be able to get to doctor appointments or get groceries when I need to. Just getting to and from work is going to be a major PITA if I can't get the thing running soon. I can't afford to rent a place on my own, much as I would love to be able to do that. I just don't make enough to cover it all.

So, yeah, I kinda feel like everything is falling down around my ears and I can't even duck and dodge with the damned gimpy knees and back. I'm honestly getting to a point that I don't know what to do anymore. And I don't even want to know what the next disaster they're going to throw at me will be. I definitely need to get out of Texas... more than ever now. *sigh* And did I mention I detest the holidays? With a passion?
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Yet more medical crap I can't afford [Nov. 21st, 2009|12:40 am]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Location |home]
[Current Mood | drugged yet again]

*Sigh* Went to the back doctor today. She was really understanding of my several reasons for not wanting to start the Savella and at least refilled my diclophenac and hydrocodone for me. She suggested that aqua therapy might be the best route for me with the back issues being compounded by the fibromyalgia. I figured that, since I did have less pain when I could swim at the gym now and again, it would probably be good. I have insurance through Blue Cross/Blue Shield at work. Unfortunately, it's got a $3000 deductible. All physical therapy costs have the allowable applied to that before they'll pay a dime. Even then, they only pay 70%. The recommended therapy clinic, unfortunately isn't contracted with the PPO. The insurance said that, unless the individual provider has a PPO contract and they file the claim with that info, it's going to hit the $5000 out of network deductible. They also cap PT benefits at $1500 a year. Then they won't pay anything more. Here I am with THREE conditions (fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disorder and osteoarthritis) that I will have for the rest of my life and $1500 goes FAST as expensive as therapy is. I could be more productive for longer with this therapy. But, because big insurance isn't about doing what's best for the patients, I'm most likely going to have to do without it. I did contact the therapy clinic. Their financial adviser said they would confirm my benefits and let me know what my actual cost for visit would be. They hadn't called back by their closing time today. Looks like it'll be Monday before I get an answer on that.

I suspect the cost will be way beyond my meager budget. I'm thinking if that's the case, I might be ahead to see if I can get a cheap membership with Fitness Connection again. They seem to be constantly running $9.99/month with no down payment. It's a bit of a drive and a pain to get to being at Greenspoint Mall, but it's feasible for me to get there a couple times a week to swim if I put my mind to it. At this point, I'm hurting bad enough some days, the relief of pressure on my skeletal system would be welcome enough to motivate me to go. Bloody sad that I can barely make enough to live on, yet I make way too much for any kind of public assistance. Even if I COULD get it, public assistance here would be laughably puny amounts. They expect someone with special dietary needs to live on $14-$50 a month in food stamps because I'm not elderly and don't have a string of brats I can't afford glued to my hip. *smirk*

While I still plan to try and get myself to New Jersey ASAP, it's looking less and less likely that I'm getting the free haul on the big rig in December. I've heard nothing on it and time is getting short. I have to give my boss enough lead time to get my replacement in to train. I don't want to leave her in a bind if I can help it. She's been really understanding when my health has caused issues. She's also been cool about letting me have time off when needed for art events and things. So, yeah, I want to get her set with an easier transition when I leave. Besides, I'd hate for someone to have to do like I did and learn most of this on their own. My clinics and all the nitpicky junk that has to be done with the claims are FAR more complex now than it was when I started four years ago. Not to mention, I need time to arrange for people to help me get my shit to wherever we have to go to load the trailer, too. That close to the holidays (Dec. 20th I was told), I need lead time so I get a solid commitment BEFORE people decide to jaunt off to be with family or whatever.

Right now, though, I've got absolutely jack shit saved. It takes most of my money just to pay rent, put gas in the car, get some food, pay insurance, student loan and phone and buy meds. And every time I turn around there's something extra needing to be paid. *groan* I almost can't afford to go to the doctor at all anymore because every time I go they want to pile on yet another damned med or new fangled treatment. I have no clue at this point what to do. All I know is I need to get the hell out of Texas before I go nuts from the stagnation in my life. What I could use is a 10 to 20 thousand dollar windfall, or half-decent art sales so I can at least have SOME savings. And then there's the car. Every time I drive it, some new "not good" sound starts up or something else breaks. *sigh* I'm getting to the point where existence here may become really, really difficult.
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Writer's Block: Play it again, Sam [Nov. 15th, 2009|11:57 pm]
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If you could only listen to one CD for the rest of your life, what would you choose and why?

Submitted By [info]lexxyloser


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Come Down by Velvet Hammer (AKA Dreamtrybe)because it's very inspiring and I love belting out those tunes even though I suck at singing now. LOL
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I have to laugh or I'd punch someone.... [Nov. 15th, 2009|08:28 pm]
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[Current Location |home]
[Current Mood | drugged]
[Current Music |The chug-burble of my light-up Zen waterwall thingy]

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )
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Writer's Block: Name your talent [Nov. 15th, 2009|01:04 pm]
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If you could have one extraordinary talent, what would you choose and why?

Submitted By [info]blackhole12


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Hmm... I already have musical talent, writing talent, artistic talent, a little dancing talent and a little poi spinning talent. I don't think I have time for anymore talents. X-D
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Just another name..... [Oct. 16th, 2009|05:33 pm]
Well, I went to a spine specialist today. After reviewing my file and xrays and poking around a bit, she has determined that I have degenerative disc disorder and arthritis being exacerbated by fibromyalgia. Apparently I've had this for a while because I've had the strange sorts of  pains a couple people with FM have described for a while now. It's increased in intensity and frequency within the last couple of years, but been there to some extent longer. It kind of amused me that one friend's first reaction was to pretty much say don't get all doom and gloom and bent out of shape over it.  My reaction when the doctor said it was more "Oh, so it has a name, this thing I've been dealing with for so long?" She gave me a sample pack of Savella which I will not be using. I looked this stuff up. It has a tendency to cause dependency. Strike one! It can cause an increase in suicidal thoughts. Strike two! And it's very similar to other drugs I've heard other creative types say they dropped because they killed their creativity. Strike three! You're outta there! No way in hell am I going to take something with those kind of side effects. Besides, it's not anywhere on the drug formulary for my insurance because it was JUST approved by the FDA for use on fibro patients. That means, minimum, it would cost $60 a month. Most likely it would be more and there's really no cap on how high they can charge for something that's not on the approved drug list. So, financially, even if I was stupid enough to start this stuff, I couldn't afford it. The doctor was hoping it might help me to sleep since she suspects the fibro is what makes it hard for me to stay asleep. Then, of course, there's the fact my brain is so hard to get to shut the hell up at night, too. Double indemnity. Once I get my brain to shut up long enough to FALL asleep, the pain in the pressure points wakes me every time I move. I always just thought it was soreness from the arthritis, but there were several places she touched where I don't HAVE arthritis that actually made me yelp in pain. 

So, for the moment, I'm looking into what exactly I can do for this. I found a supplement that's supposed to help. I'll try that. The most common advice I see is "Don't let it stop you from moving". Yeah, like I have a choice in that with my hyper self. LOL *watches legs tapping away under the desk* Even at work I'm dancing in my chair half the day. :-D But I'm going to try and get away from the machines a bit more. I'll just have to switch my less cool bag poi over onto my professional leads so I can spin poi again for exercise. My LED poi are toast. One of the light units shorted out in one of them and I can't afford to replace them right now. :-( I guess they had a decently long life for being a kids' toy.  From what I can tell, I already do a lot of what's needed to control fibromyalgia, but I can likely tweak some things in the diet and find decent ways to exercise that won't make me scream. I already go to the chiropractor. There's also massage and physical therapy which I can look to later if things don't start improving (and if I can manage to afford them). I'll be doing some reading on what can be done. So, no, no doom and gloom here. I've got the same attitude I usually do: I'll figure a way to deal.
Now I know not to overdo things as I'm prone to do anymore. I'm reading  that overdoing and not pacing oneself can cause flares. Noted and added to list of things to not do anymore.  Ya know, that thing gets longer and longer every year I'm alive..... LMAO
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The things you'll find for sale... [Oct. 1st, 2009|06:10 am]
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So, I get up this morning looking to see if I can maybe get rice or almond milk cheaper online after paying the outrageous price of $2.89 a quart at Kroger. I came across this real listing on Froogle.com while I was searching:

used candy

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd be wanting USED candy. X-D




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Success! (sort of) [Sep. 4th, 2009|04:44 pm]
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Okay, I decided that, rather than spend a ton of money on something that might not even work, I would get the materials for one display and see how it went. It's somewhat of a success. I say somewhat because I can see that the heavier grade PVC would be better. I was working with the screw on clamps and got tired of using the screwdriver, so I cheated and went quick and dirty with the zip strips on most of it. I forgot to get the caps for the feet when I was at the hardware store. Doh! I'll definitely add those to the more finished model. I think I'll also want to at least glue the bottom sections of the leg assembly so they don't shift. The rest can stay loose by the look of it. The finished units won't break down QUITE as small as I had hoped, but they'll still take up relatively little space in that form.

I think the biggest pain in the rear is working with the hardware cloth. It likes to bulge and stay in its rolled up shape. Getting it to flatten out was a trial, especially since I had no help at all rigging this stuff together. The PVC was no problem because I had the guy who helped me at the store cut it to length for me. LOL The cost for this one panel (minus the caps) was just under $32. It would have been cheaper if I had gone ahead and gotten the contractor packs of the fittings. But I wanted a test first. Next round should be a bit cheaper per panel since I'll be getting the jumbo roll of hardware cloth and the contractor packs of fittings. Even with the sturdier grade PVC, the cost should still come in at under $35 per panel. Below are some images of what the beastie looks like put together. Of course, if I use zip strips in the complete ones, I'll be cutting the end off to make it look nicer. I just wanted to see if this would work. I think that, eventually, I'll go ahead and have the cloth covers made for these so they look a bit nicer. But for a quick and easy solution to the art hanging problem, I think this will do for now. Now, if I really wanted to get fancy I could use a 4-way connector on the middle of the foor part of the legs and put a stabilizing cross-bar into the base and a third leg to help support it. I may play with that idea later.

Please note that this thing will NOT hold framed art. The weight would be too much for it. However, a similar design made with metal piping and a heavier grade of grid bars could be fashioned that WOULD.

Upper section

Full leg assembly (minus the end caps)

The point where the top joins the leg.
 

Art is hung with a curtain hook (partially opened on the sharp side) & a bulldog clip
 


So, if you're interested in trying this little project, here's my materials list:

* 48" x 48" piece of hardware cloth
* Lengths of PVC in the following sizes and quantities (this one used 3/4" thin grade; the complete ones will use the heavier grade)
four 4'
two 2' (these can be 1' if you want it shorter; mine is taller because a table will be in front of it)
eight 1'
* 4 T connectors
* 6 Elbow connectors
* 4 end caps
* 12 (minimum) screw clamps (originally I had two per side and realized it wasn't going to work; 3 or 4 per side will work better) OR enough zip strips to hold it down tight if you want cheap and easy and quicker assembly/disassembly.

You'll also want enough bulldog clips and curtain hooks to hang all of your art.


So, there you have it! Jolie's cheap trick to displaying art on the fly for a festival. :-D
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Just my luck... >-p [Sep. 3rd, 2009|10:25 pm]
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[Current Mood | blah]

Here I am going into a loverly 4-day weekend and I've got some kind of icky sinus thing going on. *sigh* The left side was so full of crud that it set my teeth to aching and gave me a massive headache all day at work. I finally relented at about 2 PM and clocked out long enough to make a run to a nearby Walgreen's to get something for it.  So I'm all drugged up on sinus meds. Wheeee!

I decided I can't stomach the thought of hauling my stupid pop-up frame with its two screwed up legs to Houston Pagan Pride. The event is indoors this year and I was only going to set it up so that I could hang my art as I usually do on its screen walls. But, since I'm vending solo at this show and have no one slotted to help out, I just don't want to haul that thing and THEN have to subject  kind volunteers to having to fight with it to set it up. So, I tried to come up with something else that wouldn't be such a pain and might be easier to transport. I think I may have found a really cheap way to build myself some displays. Total cost should be around $30 per panel for roughtly 4x4 panel space with a 3 foot base to get them sitting nicely behind my tables. I found that 3/4" PVC is less than $1 per 10' section. Cut the pieces right, get the right connecting fixtures, throw in some hardware cloth (thanks for that suggestion, Gordon!) and some clamps to hold it on the frame and I think what I will have will be just about perfect for my needs. I'm going to try and go get the components tomorrow if I can manage to feel a bit better. I'll be assembling one to test it. If it works as I planned it, then I'll post pictures and exact specs and measurements so that any artist who does vending festivals can look into them as a cheap alternative to the ready-made wire panels and such. These will have a bonus in that you should be able to break them down to component parts and box or bag them for shipping, so they'll take a LOT less space in your vehicle. That's been the downfall of every ready-made display I've looked at. Trying to fit them, my folding tables AND my stock into my dinky llittle Toyota Celica just wouldn't work too well. :-p Well, that and the fact that they're usually really expensive.  Since I'm only hanging matted prints and paper originals, the PVC should be fine. It seems fairlly sturdy for being so narrow. Later, once I'm up north with a best friend who can sew and have a bit more cash, I'll have some cloth covers made for the displays so they look nicer. Right now, I just want to make sure the art gets hung for the festival without me having to haul the damned tent frame and fight with it.

The idea spawned from the lovely printer stand one of my ex-boyfriends made for me many years ago from copper piping and white pine boards. I swear it's one of the best pieces of furniture I've ever owned. It even has adjustable legs so you can stabilize it on uneven floors!  I like it so much that I'm trying to figure out how to expand on the idea to make myself a hutch desk for my computer. I think it'll look quite steam punk and spiffy if I can pull it off. LOL I want to do that because the desk I wasted almost $400 on right before Brooks and I broke up didn't even survive being moved three times. I think I'm going to take a chainsaw to this piece of crap before I move to New Jersey. Damned crappy particle board furniture. *grumble!* I will never, EVER buy another piece particle board furniture if I can help it. If it's not modular and made of sturdy materials, I don't want it! Hell, I've had PLASTIC shelving that's held up better than some of the particle board shelves I've had. *smirk* It's a lot easier to break down and move as well as being easier to clean, too.

Ugh... I need to go and try to let the meds drag me off to sleep. Think I'll pop a vid in my portable player, flop on the air mattress and curl up with the Pixie brat. On a side note, it's refreshing to see my old girl romping about and attacking her bunny fur mouse. I think she's actually shed a few of her excess pounds since we've been here in Spring.
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Writer's Block: My Must-Have Computer Accessories [Sep. 3rd, 2009|09:44 pm]
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What computer accessories and peripherals can't you live without?

Sponsored by WePC.com. Help us make your Dream PC a reality.


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Easy! I absolutely cannot live without my Wacom tablet and my printer for my art. LOL
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Writer's Block: Technology & My Future [Aug. 30th, 2009|04:30 am]
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How do you think technology will impact your future?

Presented by Intel, Sponsors of Tomorrow.


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Well, unless the trends of the last several decades change radically, I think technology will eventually strip this planet of everything that makes it livable for all of the species here, including us. Yup... so much tech garbage now that soon there won't be any room left for the living things.
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Writer's Block: Clock Punching [Aug. 30th, 2009|04:28 am]
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What was your first job?


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Unofficially, I was a lawn mower. The first REAL job (as in it was a steady job with paychecks and all) was as a stocker/cashier for TG&Y/McCrory in my home town.
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Writer's Block: Doh! [Aug. 30th, 2009|04:26 am]
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What is the dumbest thing you've ever done?


View 562 Answers

Get married. Never doing it again. In fact, I think I'm swearing off those kind of relationships for good at this point. Getting too old for all the childish drama and other attendant B.S. that goes with them.
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