| Thankful Despite the Weirdness |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|06:58 am] |
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| |  awake | ] |
Warning! It's long! It's rambling! It's somewhat random! LMAO!
Thanksgiving was a good if, at times, weird day. In the morning, I kind of got distracted putting together ads for my online shops and those of the artist I agent for. I figured I'd try and flag some "Black Friday" traffic our way. This put me on the road a bit later than I had intended, but I wasn't really running TOO late. About halfway down to League City I happen to glance at the corner of the windshield on my roomie's car and realize BOTH the stickers are MONTHS out of date. >(o_0)< Damned good thing I have ninja-like stealth when it comes to avoiding police notice in those situations! Made for a rather nerve wracking drive, though. I also noticed his check engine light was on and prayed the whole way there and back that the beastie wouldn't strand me somewhere between here and there. Think I'll just stay IN until my car comes back from the shop. I do NOT want the messy ordeal of being ticketed while driving someone else's car. I have enough crap to deal with, thanks! YIKES! The most irking thing is he KNEW they were out and claimed to have "not had time" to take care of it when I mentioned it upon arriving home. Ummm, you are home ALL day EVERY Friday and you don't have time? Uh-huh... and I'm Trent Reznor, bub. *rolls eyes* I really just don't like it when people don't take care of important business like that. Makes it damned hard for me to take them seriously, honestly. Sorry, NO ONE is that bloody absent minded, not even me with my brain damage. I certainly made SURE I had that registration renewal notice plastered front and center on my desk so I could get it as soon as money posted to my bank for my next check after I got it. *smirk* And inspection was done at the first opportunity after that since they both expired at the end of November. Yeah, no excuse for not taking care of that shit, especially if you tend to let other people drive your car a lot like he does. The other male roomie drives it constantly.
But at least I got to FREDsgiving safely with my nommy pasta salad, laptop and drum in tow. LOL I was grateful to see I was among the first to arrive despite running a little late and there was no sign yet of the ex and his new girlfriend yet. I still wasn't sure how I would actually handle that beyond my stout admonition to myself that I was NOT going to let it spoil my day PERIOD. I'll be damned if I let that kind of bullshit alienate me from my friends. He may be seeing them a lot more than me right now, but then he just seems to have oodles of cash to do things all of a sudden where I can barely afford gas to get to work a lot of the time. When they did arrive, his new girlfriend flinched when she realized I was beside her standing in line for food as they were trying to get into the dining room to put down their food. What the hell was she expecting? Did she think I was going to leap on her in a fit of jealous rage? LMFAO! Yeah, riiiight. For one, I don't do that kind of stupid shit for any man. For two, if I DID do that kind of stupid shit, I would NOT be crass enough to break up the chosen family's gather like that. Eesh! I mean, I know I'm bitchy a lot (pain can make me downright surly sometimes) but I have NEVER caused a row like that at any gather with these people. Makes me wonder what kind of bullshit he's talking about me, really.
I just kind of flicked an eyebrow as if to say "Alrighty then" and focused on the delicious grub awaiting me on the table. Not a word despite my impish desire to go "BOO!" I behaved myself despite those evil little stirrings that less mature side of me often gets. *snicker* I went outside to eat. They were at the other end of the table from me. I kept up a light chit-chat with the folks on my end of the table and ignored the other end of the table for the most part. No biggie. We mostly had our mouths too full to talk anyway. LOL I managed to hang out most of the time without having to interact with them at all. When I did have to, I was calm and civil if not overly inviting. I mean, I think I DO have a wee bit of right to be irked considering he could have had the good grace to date someone who ISN'T a friend after breaking the rules and going off to boff someone I didn't know. Sorry, all the fluff bunny shit in the world doesn't negate the fact I am a human being with emotions that need to be expressed. I just try not to disrupt a celebration with it, that's all. I'm crazy, yes. But I'm far from the psyho hosebeast some people might assume I am. No, I'm much less flashy than that when I'm evil. *chuckle*
After I heard he was already hooked up again Tuesday, I thought. "Four months tops he'll have that girl moved in. Watch." Boy was I wrong. I found out today that he's already planning on doing it. They've been together since CMA Samhain (end of September) and he's moving her in?? Wow. And I finally figured out his quirk, I think. He's got that Galahad shit, kind of. He wants to seem to ride in to the rescue of the damsel in distress. He did the same with me. He was all too willing to move me in when I found myself in a bind because I was injured & on crutches and my best friend had already gone north to New Jersey. My roomies at the time were hardly ever home and I couldn't even carry food or drink for myself. But he soon found I don't play damsel in distress too well. I DESPISE being debilitated and having to rely on other people that much. I was raised to NOT depend on other people that much unless there was no other choice. Gee, so sorry if I like to try and not be co-dependent. *smirk*
I had to laugh when people were like "I'm surprised he's moving her in." My answer was "I'm not, not at all" after hearing the way they got together was that she basically pounced him multiple times on the direction of someone doing a workshop out at the festival to "go do something wild and crazy that you wouldn't normally do". It's sex plain and simple. Big surprise. Of course he wants to move in someone who will get him laid whenever he wants it and make him the shining knight at the center of their wee universe. A couple of more observant and shrewd people expressed concern for the situation. All I could tell them was that, at this point, it's not my problem anymore so long as no one does anything that puts my ferret in danger. Because, well, it's not. His girlfriend is a grown woman and it's her business, not mine. The one thing that irks me a little, though, is that I don't think I'll be able to handle having to go over there with HER there in the way of my playtime with my pookie girl. I wanna play with my fur brat, not have to deal with awkward exes bullshit. *groan* Dunno what I'll do with that. I can only control the temper so far. The extra stress I'm under lately makes that hold slippery. I really don't want to test how far it is before I have a blow-up or, worse, a nervous breakdown. I've had one breakdown after Mom died. It took YEARS to get right again from that. I REALLY can't afford to do that right now. But, at the same time, I would like to at least occasionally get to see my fur baby without interference, awkwardness or weirdness.
After ritual, I snaked some energies from the ritual fire to send to poor Sammie to help her through all the crap she's going through. Strangely, while I was doing that, the fire got really active and showered sparks everywhere. So I hope that means someone was listening to my little thought-chant of "My blade is the fire of my soul, cutting away the darkness and injustice around Sammie". I'm hoping it was a positive sign that those lousy excuses for parents she has will finally get what they so richly deserve and let that young lady deal with her health issues in PEACE. I would like for her to get a chance at maybe feeling what it's REALLY like to be a free young person and not have to live with so much fear every moment.
I kept having to hitch up my britches all day and mentioned as the evening was winding down that most of my clothes are either in the "don't fit so hot anymore" or "getting too ratty to wear in public" pile. Gwen said she probably had some stuff I could wear that she could do without. Turns out she had a huge 40 gallon trash bag worth! Not just any old hand-me-downs either. One of the shirts is SILK. I've been dying to have a silk shirt again. Two of the tops are the Indian style tunic tops which I adore and have been drooling over online for some time. One was a gorgeous deep ruby metallic shirt. It looks nice! And a got a few serviceable (and much better fitting) pairs of jeans, too! There were plenty of pieces I can mix and match around with what she gave me and what's still serviceable in my closet. She even gave me a super thick and fluffy robe so I don't freeze to death when I finally make it to Jersey. I'm thinking this house is bloody cold as a freezer. It can get a bit of use here, too. LOL I was actually surprised at how GOOD some of the stuff looked now that I've got a bit of a waist. It's been at least six years since I had a proper waist and it makes me happy to have one again.
I ended up hanging out chit-chatting until around 1AM. I decided I'd better boogie since it was a long drive. Avoided the cops and several rather tipsy-looking drivers on the way. Then I got home and was too alert to sleep. And here I sit now jabbering on. LOL. Think I'll crash soon, though... maybe. Meh. Not like I'm fool enough to go anywhere today, anyway. :-D |
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aazari's journal
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